This Is Why Ranch Life Can Really Stink Sometimes

Allie tells us about death, life, a hundred pounds of crap, and Riva farts

Dealing With A Dead Chicken

Do you know what you have to do with a dead chicken? I bet you don’t.

No, you don’t throw it in a trash bin. Not when there is no trash service. That’s just gross. Maggots, flies, and all sorts of critters would be after it.

I’ll tell ya what’s right. You either bury it, risking that it gets dug up again, or you take it out into the wild where vultures and others can feed on it. You know the saying; ‘the circle of life.’

A bit of advice — be sure that once you are out at the site you actually take it out of the truck and leave it there. But watch out! We dogs do love to play keep-away with such a prized toy.

Kittens Are Entertaining

Amongst the death and destruction also came new life. Isn’t that amazing how that works? I began to see the kittens pop their heads out from under the deck more and more. I had no idea how many there were because I only saw one of the fuzzy little black creatures at a time.

I would try to coax them out but “little mama kat” as I called her, would have nothing to do with that. She guarded them like a proud lioness, pushing them back under the porch if I came too close. I admit, it was pretty fun to watch the three of them from my padded loveseat. As the days went by, I allowed Momma and her kittens to play out in the open a little more each day.

But after a while, they got a little too bold. They began to venture further out. Cats are like that. Nosey from the day they’re born. Well, they found my food dish and started sticking their faces in it. That was going too far! I kicked those pesky little cuties right out of there.

They also enjoyed playing “hide and seek” behind the washer. Momma and the babies would run around and around it, jumping and pouncing on each other like little Kangaroos on a trampoline.

It wasn’t long though until the cuteness wore off and I was reminded why cats are ridiculous animals with only one job — hunt down little varmints that try to get in the house. Still, I do admit it did make me laugh a little every time one of those little fireballs sprang into the air.

News of a Visitor

We were at the end of our second week together when I began to worry about our temporary human, Steve. He wasn’t taking us for the long hikes and extra walks we had gotten used to. Instead, he was spending time fooling around with things in the yard and then cleaning the house. I was nervous until he confided in me.

“Guess what, Allie?’ Steve asked me one morning when I decided I’d let him have a little attention. ‘My sister’s coming to visit and hike with us.”

Oh great! Another human I’d have to look after. Sheesh. I’ve just gotten Steve trained and now he’s gotta bring someone else along!

That’s my job though. I look after the human and all the other critters around here. And I do a pretty darn good job of it.

But I can’t fix everything and what happens in the night is out of my control.

A Sad Discovery

The following morning, after Steve fed Riva and me, he poured himself some coffee. Notice how he did that after feeding us? Haha, yep, I’ve got him pretty well trained. Anyways, as I was saying, after Steve got his “morning fix of coffee”, we stepped out of the breezeway and onto the back porch to start our morning rounds when I discovered it.

Actually, I avoided stepping on it. A kitten. Dead. Brought up to the deck for me to care for I suppose. So I did. Though both slightly disgusted and a little sad for the stiff, lifeless critter, I knew it was up to me to take care of it. I scooped it up and set it down by the shovel that leaned up against the little white picket fence. Then I let Steve know I was sad by whimpering a little.

You see, I could tell Steve was sad and upset. It’s my job to make him feel better. To show him I understand and won’t judge him. I gave him a moment and then pushed the poor little guy with my nose. That way Steve would know it was time for him to bury the little guy.

After Steve dug a hole in the far back part of the property, I said a kitty-sized prayer and returned to the house. While I felt a little sadness, I had to be strong for the others. I had to make sure Kit-Cat wasn’t too distracted so she would still look after her other babies. And though I tried to comfort her, she stayed away, as if to say she had already said her good-byes.

I guess I understood. Before I went back to watching our yard from on my loveseat, I asked God to look after the other two.

We Go For a Ride

Later that day, Steve grabbed up a few of the dog chow bags he filled with straw and poop from the kennels, along with some bags of trash. He loaded them into the back of the truck and Riva and I jumped in the cab with him. We were going to take a trip!

As we drove towards the weigh station of the dump, I was hoping that the service person at the booth would ask what we were bringing today so I could answer,

“Oh, just some shit. You know, shit from around the house”.

Hahaha! Oh, I crack myself up!

The conversation would move along like that for a few minutes until she realized that I wasn’t kidding and told me to get my sick butt out of there! Have a little humor, people!

We ran a few more errands before going back to our house. Riva and I were really happy Steve took us with him. We agreed that he was a good human and, as a favor, we would let him share the couch with us when we got home.

Really, Riva? REALLY?

Riva was so happy in fact, that she crawled right up next to Steve on the couch and laid her head on his leg. And then she farted. She has the nastiest farts of any dog, or human, I’ve been around. I buried my head into the pillows as quickly as I could. Steve just patted her on the head.

I couldn’t believe it. I thought, “Dude, how can you stand that?”

He just shook his head and coughed a little before grinning at me. Because that how it was with us.

We had an understanding of each other. I would look after him, and he would be kind to me day and night, in every way he could. We became quite attached to each other.

Even if he pretended like he wasn’t listening to me all the time.

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