This Is My Journey With the Loving Father

A poem/story of finding deliverance. It took a lifetime.

I didn’t know Him.

Words snapped at me by the penguins with sticks, words pierced and stung.
Droning repetitiveness filled my ears in that mosaic and brick building.
The collars hid behind doors as you squirmed, recounting your shame, there, I heard words.
Taught about Him, never feeding my soul.
He was back then and out there. Not for me. Not in the day or the tar pits of my nights.
Years passed. Love, faith, and hope bludgeoned out from the tiny havens where they cowered. Refuge and escape temporary — never fulfilling.
A soul deserted with people all around.

He reaches out

At the darkest hour, alone and trembling, with bloodied knuckles from bricks that don’t care, that’s when He came. When I laid down my paper sword and hollow tricks. A promise of comfort.
And not for the minute. He would stay.
By the hand, into my heart, He guided me into a new land.

By Might a Fool Falls

I didn’t know how to trust Him so I clawed my way through the hills and valleys on my own.
I wanted to be worthy and useful. Instead, I was a fool.
Success, love, and joy were mine. I thought I engineered it all.
He waited with patience while I propped up my pride on ever taller pedestals that cast shadows on Him. I lived for me, playing ‘Hide and Seek’, but rarely looking for Him. What foolishness He endured!
A decision made. Upheaval from behind the curtain.
Everything forged of my own steel melted in the might of one breath.
Freedom. Career. Relationships. Money. Yanked away and put in a cellar.

A lesson rewarded.

For my good, and His glory. Restoration by pounding and sanding out the rough spots.
11 months of trial and training. The right mix of fear and doubt sprayed inside and out.
For the exact amount of time, giving rise to everlasting hope, faith, and joy fashioned by His love, through His word.
The grip of the world pried from my heart, mind, and soul. I was released.
And still the wrestling match continues. Pride and fear — the goliath dark twins brawled against daily.
Living in the world. Fighting against it.
But never alone.
A loving father by my side. In my heart. Favoring my soul.

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